I met an old friend today who I haven’t seen for the best part of a decade. He has gotten married and had two babies with another on the way since the last time we met. He was waxing lyrical about the joy of being a father and how it has changed his life and perspective utterly and he said a few things that struck a chord with me. Maybe two chords – one harmonic and one inharmonic. The first thing he said was he wonders what he was afraid of all this time. He had been terrified for years of becoming a father to the point where he considered returning to singledom at one point when it looked like there might a chisler on the horizon (false alarm). I find this totally understandable. I think if you’re not there, you’re totally not there when it comes to thinking about having children. For me, it was like a switch: not even slightly interested in children to all about babies!
The second thing he said was that he was so lucky to be married to the beautiful, wonderful wife and mother that he was. Because all of his mates’ wives turned into dragons after they had their children.
I need to think about this a little bit more. It’s not the first time I’ve heard something like this but it’s the first time I’ve heard it since becoming a mother. It’s funny, when you’re busy trying to make babies and have babies, the husband/wife father/mother dynamic is something that never crosses your mind. That is until your baby arrives and everyone’s life changes forever and those relationships change forever too. Suddenly there’s this whole other element of having a baby that never blipped on your radar. And apparently some men experience dragon mamas. I don’t know what to make of this or whose perspective to take it from. I think I’m going to park it for now, have a mull and maybe come back to it at a later stage. Anyone have any thoughts on the concept of dragon mamas or otherwise?