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Rookie mistakes lead to dirty protests

Rookie mistake #1:
Not planning enough time in advance to make sure I could hop into the shower before my husband went to work.

Rookie mistake #2:
Thinking it was a good idea to bring the toddler into the shower with me. Cue a five minute shower becoming a 15 minute one followed by an extra 10 minutes chasing the toddler around trying to towel dry his hair.

Rookie mistake #3:
Letting the toddler run around naked for two minutes – just TWO minutes – while I quickly threw my clothes on.

Cue me running topless across the landing shouting “nooooooo” with my hands out fruitlessly trying to catch the falling poo as the toddler squatted while throwing all the clothes from the laundry basket and simultaneously peeing on the wicker.

(Incidentally, you know you’re a mother when you reach out to catch someone else’s poo without giving it a second thought.)

Rookie mistake #4:
Attending to the carpet before the toddler who tries to stick his hands in it then runs to our cream carpeted bedroom leaving little gifts as he goes before taking a seat on the bathroom floor and giving his bum a good wipe on the tiles.

4 rookie mistakes = some serious carpet scrubbing + a disgraceful amount of wipes + an impromptu load of washing + 40 minutes late for work.


I’ll know better next time.

7 thoughts on “Rookie mistakes lead to dirty protests”

    1. Lol! His father was an innocent man! Innocently drinking this coffee oblivious to the shitty happenings at home 🙂

    1. TMI I know, but at least it was solid. Remember those days – although you’re probably still living it – when you’d be changing a liquidy pooey nappy and then they’d pee and it would create like a whole River Ganges all over the changing mat? THEY were the worst. I don’t miss those. One time, there was some milky vom thrown in there for good measure too.

    1. Lol! Thanks Raphaele. I feel ready 🙂

      My husband reckons navy seals have nothing on sleep deprived parents anyway!

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