Your bump looks big in this: things NOT to say to a pregnant woman

photo credit: EscapeArtist74 via photopin cc
photo credit: EscapeArtist74 via photopin cc

Wow, your bump is huge! Are you sure your dates are right?

Oh, you’re very neat. Are you sure your dates are right?

Should you be eating that?

I never touched that stuff when I was pregnant.

We’re very precious about what we eat with our first borns, aren’t we? You won’t be so fussy the second time around, let me tell you.

Are you still here?

Anything stirring there?

Any sign of that child yet?

It feels like you’ve been pregnant FOREVER.

There’s no medals for not having an epidural you know.

How are your nipples? Sore?

You’re carrying very high. That head’s not engaged. You’ll be here for AGES.

You’re carrying very low. It must be a girl/boy.

Would you ever hurry up and have that child?!

You look WRECKED.

There’s that baby brain again. You’d forget your head.

You don’t actually have to eat for two, you know.

I presume you’ll breastfeed?

There’s no medals for breastfeeding you know, don’t be a martyr and it’s not fair on the daddy and the grandparents. They’ll want to feed the baby too.

We didn’t need all those gadgets in our day.

Don’t waste your money on that thing. I guarantee you it’ll be in the press and you’ll be pushing a Maclaren by the time the year is out.

Did you have a sweep?

Would you not just go for the section again this time? It’ll be easier than ending up there anyway.

I can’t believe they just won’t bring you in and induce you.

What are you reading those books for? Sure it’s better not to know! TRUST ME.

First labours take days, you know.

A TENS machine??? You’d know you never had a baby before. Ha!

You’re not the first woman to have a baby you know.

That baby is massive. You’ll never get it out yourself.

All that hocus pocus won’t do you any good when you’re screaming for the epidural.

Oh, you’re much bigger this time, aren’t you?

10 months!? It was only 9 months back in my day.

Enjoy your sleep while it lasts…

File under Stupid Things People Say to Pregnant Women and cross-reference with Oh, Mind Your Own Business and Unsolicited Advice.

People say the rudest, most inappropriate things to pregnant women. Often the comments come from a place where the commenter didn’t have a great time themselves and they can’t help projecting their experiences on others. But every pregnancy is different and unique to each mother and her baby. Block it out and let it all wash over you ladies! Water off a duck’s back 🙂

My personal favourite affirmation is “your baby is the perfect size for your body” and everyone has an opinion on that one, don’tyaknow!

Any other gems to add to the list?

Related links:

Hey lady, get your hands off my baby!

Top 3 things to say to a new mum

11 thoughts on “Your bump looks big in this: things NOT to say to a pregnant woman”

  1. Oh it’s never-ending! It’s funny to read all in a list. When I was pregnant with my first and not feeling great someone said to me, “wait ’til they’re leaving home, then you’ll know the meaning of difficulty.”

  2. I always hated the urgent need to share horror stories about labour. I remember one girl in particular (who I only vaguely knew) taking great pleasure in telling me how she thought she was going to split in half, and I had no idea what a world of pain I was getting myself into. I was 37 weeks pregnant at the time. I must admit that when I met her again a few weeks later, I took a little bit too much pleasure in telling her that I hadn’t needed an epidural in the end, the labour was straightforward, and I didn’t know what all the fuss was about. It’s probably the only time I’ve fallen into the “smug natural birther” stereotype, but to be honest, I was still miffed with her for our conversation the previous month. I felt she was taking great pleasure in trying to scare the life out of me. So I guess the next conversation was a little “I told ya so” on my part. So mean.

  3. Related to #1: “Your bump looks huge! Are you sure it’s not twins?!”

    As said to me by a Tesco checkout lady a couple of weeks before Christmas. I could have cried.

  4. I hated people saying I put on a lot of weight or I’m very big, it must be a boy….well it was but still I freaking knew I was big no need to remind me haha!
    Or you look puffy!! Hmmm ok thanks, I was trying to go for the ”glowing” look but if you say so lol!
    x

  5. Hilarious…its amazing what people say without engaging their brains.

    Jees you look absolutely huge, are you sure its not twins in.there? Or…Do you mind if i.pat/rub your tummy? (as they rub away) Or about a.home.birth…Are you mad, what if something.goes wrong?Your miles away from a hospital.

  6. Girl in Starbucks: “You must be due any minute!”
    Me: “No, not for another eight weeks”
    Girl in Starbucks, looking confused: “Are you sure? Are you really sure? Is it twins then?”
    Thanks

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