Many moons ago, not long after my maternity leave finished and I was back at work, I made a passing comment on one of my blog posts about where and how I saw myself since becoming a mother. I wrote:
“I had a light bulb moment yesterday at my desk where I suddenly asked myself what I was doing here? Not in a “I should be home with my baby way” (I do feel that too) but in a “am I doing justice to my son, my skills, my abilities, my hopes, my dreams by doing this job right here right now?” way. Should I be pursuing passion and excellence? If I’m going to work and be away from my baby, should the work be really meaningful and worthy of consuming my family’s time? Or then again, do I need to embrace this wonderfully flexible and supportive workplace I’m in…and take advantage of it to the benefit of my family, at least for the foreseeable future? This is just what is running through my head at the moment and perhaps it’s fleeting as I settle back in. But maybe there’s something stirring in me. Time will tell I suppose…”
It turns out it wasn’t fleeting at all. In fact it was a little seed germinating away, digging deep down into my brain and setting up roots for the budding new mother in me. As I’ve mentioned often before, I know I’ve really changed as a person since I’ve become a mother. I’m still the same me but with a whole new awesome dimension. I feel like my thoughts, feelings, confidence, creativity, empathy and motivation have exponentially expanded out like a big white cloud of energy. So even though many aspects of my pre-baby life are still really great, I have turned my eye and heart to other, new things that give me great satisfaction and flame up a passion in me that I haven’t felt in a long time.
Regular readers will know how much I care about pregnancy, giving birth in a positive, healthy empowering way and about mindful mothering. I’ve written often and passionately about the power of information for women when it comes to their bodies and their babies, because I think it’s so important that we find our way back to trusting ourselves, our bodies, our feminine knowledge and our gut instincts to make the right decisions and create the right environment for the best experiences we can have.
So I’m putting my money where my mouth is. That seed has been quietly growing away in the background and in the last few months the buds have appeared and a new adventure has blossomed, arriving into the world just at the tail-end of our Indian summer. I’ve launched my own business. This is me – Birth Rocks – because it can and it does. I’ve certified as a GentleBirth instructor and trained as a doula. It’s been a wonderful summer of learning and nourishing my soul. Since the start of the autumn, I’ve been teaching workshops in my hometown. It is wonderful, fulfilling work and I hope to be privileged enough to be involved in this amazing, supportive, positive birth work for a very long time.
Come and visit me! I’d love to meet you in person. xx