I have a hundred euro.
I’ve had it for nearly three weeks now. Someone gave it to me as a gift to spend on myself and myself only.
It is a wonderful, unexpected gift that I have been regularly dreaming about for months now.
There’s only one problem. I have absolutely no idea what to do with it.
Don’t get me wrong. I can think of one hundred million ways of spending it when I put my mind to it. But it’s been such a long time that I’ve had that much money to spend all on myself – and not little boy clothes, toys, food, bills, unwelcome surprise items etc – that I’m terrified that I’ll spend it badly.
What if I make a rash decision and then regret it and the money’s all gone? Of all the things I really want, what do I want the most? What do I need the most? A bag. Some new clothes. New underwear? Make up? What? Do I want a bunch of little things? Do I want one big thing? But what if I need other thing? Ahhhhhhhh!
I literally have retail phobia. Every time I darken the door of a shop with a view to even *thinking* about spending it, I panic. I’ve picked things up and put them down. Is it a bit boring? A bit samey? A bit too frivolous? Is it worth that much? Is it too cheap? Feck sake!
I went as far as trying on a dress in Hobbs there a couple of weeks ago. I had the little fella with me so you can imagine how much fun the dressing room was. I really liked the dress but it was the full one hundred euro and I wasn’t sure if I loved it a hundred euro much. I reckoned in the end the V neck didn’t sit just right on me and therefore wasn’t worth the money, so I put it back.
I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with Hobbs, but their sales assistants are pushy stalkers. Stalkers! I wasn’t two seconds out of the dressing room and a “friendly” lady wanted to know why I didn’t like it. I explained about the V neck whereupon she looked me up and down and asked me if “I had a good bra on”. Read: “it’s not our dress lady, it’s your saggy tits.” (NB. It wasn’t my saggy tits. My tits are a lot of things but saggy is not one of them.)
On the off chance anyone from Hobbs is reading this, I don’t recommend this as a tactic to sell more dresses. I have a hundred euro to spend, and you’re not getting it. Take that note.
So, here I am, weighed down with a hundred euro that is coming in danger of being absorbed into the houshold budget with every day that passes, and it’s burning a hole in my pocket. I’d say your heart is only breaking for me.
First world problems.
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