Hands up if this sounds familiar. Tiny newborn, trying to establish breastfeeding, middle of the night: is that nappy the right colour?, how many wets today?, are they gaining weight? is the latch okay? should she be feeding this much? should I be waking him up?…” 3am, night light on, baby on boob, iPhone out, scouring baby forums to see if anyone has the answer to your question or trying to find the right information online but it’s never quite what you’re looking for… Continue reading Review: NuuNest newborn tracking and breastfeeding App
Happy World Breastfeeding Week 2013! How are you finding it so far? Have you seen much promotion for it and read something new that will help you on your breastfeeding journey? I hope so, because there’s so much wonderful advice out there if you’re looking for help or trying to gather information. At the end of this post, you’ll find a selection of blogposts I’ve written myself about my own breastfeeding journey with my son. It was a wonderful 14 months and I look back on it fondly but it wasn’t without its bumps in the road and dark, long nights which we all have as parents, no matter how we choose to feed our babies. Continue reading What’s wrong with this picture?
Dear Senator White
I’ve sat on writing this letter for a week since I first read about your “Parental Leave Bill 2013” because I needed to chew it over.
Well, that’s not necessarily true.
As soon as I read this article on Journal.ie, I immediately tweeted
But then I thought I’d let it sit with me and evaluate its merits, after all I am 100% supportive of paid paternity leave for the benefit of families and Irish society as a whole.
Here’s the thing though. Your press release managed to successfully talk me out of supporting your bill.
This is what did it for me:
“The greatest challenge facing the country is to create employment to offer hope and a potential living to the 300,000 unemployed and the young people in our schools and colleges. The only way we can create jobs is to encourage new enterprise”
followed swiftly by:
“The biggest untapped source of enterprise is 50% of the population which are Irish Women who face multiple barriers in becoming entrepreneurs and developing business”
and then this corker, which to be honest, really pushed me over the edge:
“This flexibility in the maternal leave scheme would allow women entrepreneurs to devote more time to their enterprises.”
Are we noticing a theme here, Senator White? Jobs, enterprise, business, entrepreneurship. I thought we were talking about maternity leave – the time a mother takes out of the workforce to give birth to and nurture her tiny newborn. But reading your comments, I actually realise we’re talking about “the economy“.
Can we get real about your bill here for a minute please? Becoming a mother – be it for the first or tenth time – is a physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually challenging time. It is exhausting and all-consuming. Most new mothers may find that it takes months – not weeks – to adapt to their new role and I’m fairly willing to bet that unless they’re a participant in The Apprentice, getting all entrepreneurial and starting a business is probably the last thing on their mind. There’s two exceptions to this – 1. the woman who already runs her own business and you can be well sure she’s not taking 26 weeks maternity leave in the first place and 2. the woman who realises that, for her, life isn’t all about working for someone else Monday to Friday, 9-5 (or 6 or 7) once her baby comes along and she looks for a new working solution that will keep her at home with her family. The latter lady most likely only swings into action with this when the end of her maternity leave is fast approaching and the idea of having to go back into the workforce is a frightening and unappealing prospect.
You say women face multiple barriers to coming entrepreneurs. You’re right, they absolutely do, but one of them is not because their pesky maternity leave is just too long and getting in their way. Could I ask you to point out to me the women who are celebrating your proposal and shouting from the rooftops
“well thank God for Senator White. Finally I’ll have a bit of flexibility with my maternity leave so I can devote more time to getting back to work.”
If we’re all so desperate to get started on setting up a business, why do so many women lie about their due date so that they can work as late as possible into their pregnancy to secure those precious extra weeks with their baby at the other end? Why do so many families scrimp and save so that new mothers can take as much of their unpaid leave as they can possibly afford once their maternity leave ends?
Although I admire your efforts, your bill will actually impact negatively on new mothers and babies. What mother in the country is going to deny her partner the opportunity to take some paid paternity leave when their little one arrives if it’s something he really wants to do? How could we? After spending decades calling for paid paternity leave for our partners, how could we turn around now and say
“oh no sorry, you can’t have any of mine!”?
Women will be forced to cut their maternity leave short to accommodate their partners equal right to spend time at home with their child.
What impact do you think this is going to have on our already paltry breastfeeding rates? Once your bill is in, the pressure to wean babies to formula will be even stronger than it is now and many mothers will feel obliged to give up breastfeeding before they return to work even if they’d prefer not to. Breastfeeding support in this country is so bad at the moment that most women don’t know how to access the expertise to help them keep breastfeeding and return to work.
You call your bill “innovative” but you know, really it’s just sneaky. You’ve dressed it up as a modern, progressive, egalitarian proposal when it’s really robbing Peter to pay Paul and the State won’t have to invest a penny.
Here’s something really innovative. Why not take the brave step of suggesting that paid parental leave is extended to 12 months – or if we’re paying heed to the extensive, international research – 18 months and insist that fathers must take a minimum of three months of that? Our Scandanavian cousins have had huge success with this model. Look at Iceland, paternity leave is now a normalised part of society.
“But we couldn’t possibly afford it!”,
they’ll cry. That’s what they said when the European Union insisted we lift the marriage ban in the 70s. That’s what they said when the concept of maternity leave was introduced in the first place. Yet look at us now. All thanks to the outside influence of our European counterparts.
12 – 18 months of paid parental leave will mean children under the age of one will be nurtured by their primary caregiver in their own home, something that research has proven time and again is best for babies. It will mean that babies are more likely to be breastfed for longer. Just read this report from UNICEF UK to get even the slightest inkling of how much the Government would save on a reduced health bill if our breastfeeding rates increased just marginally. It would mean that society would accept that fathers have a place in the home caring for their children. If they all have to take time off work, then of course it’s the most normal thing in the work. If mothers have happy, healthy babies and they’re not worrying, worrying, worrying, I’d say the chances of them turning their head to setting up that new business are suddenly all the more realistic.
Senator White, please, please, can I ask you to take the summer months, give your bill some serious thought and change it before the Autumn session begins. Change it for the better. Do something good for Ireland’s babies, for its mammies and its daddies, for society and the economy as a whole. Take the long view. Look to the future and see the consequences of your suggestion and then mine.
Don’t rob us of our precious maternity leave to win brownie points in the name of equality.
You’re going in the wrong direction.
Mind the Baby
Mother of 1, Full time employee and budding entrepreneur.
*Or, that should really read, gives ME super awesome hair 🙂
I’m experiencing something of a hair sensation at the moment which, funnily enough, I’m fairly sure I can link directly back to my breastfeeding journey. Here’s how it goes…
I enjoyed a thick, healthy mane of hair throughout my pregnancy. What a bitch, you’re probably thinking, but it was a good thing for everyone because I’m not great on the old hairstyling – no matter how good my intentions are – so I’m pretty sure it was a relief to everyone that I was sporting shiny locks. It toned down their unkemptness.
I never experienced the great shed of post partum hair loss with the exception of a few hair balls that I mistook for hair loss but actually turned out to be the result of a severe lack of brushing. My hairdresser mentioned it a few times and put it down to the fact that I was still breastfeeding so my lovely fuzzy hormones were still up. I got to keep all that extra volume.
Not long after I stopped, when Pip was just over 14 months old, I began to notice what I’d always referred to as “spring hair” – where little tufts of soft and completely unmanageable hair spring up around your forehead and temples, all new and naive. This didn’t really bother me except when I tied my hair back in a ponytail and all the little hufties would be sticking straight up like I’d had a little electric shock and just wouldn’t sit back down.
But those little tufts have been growing away for a couple of months and now just in the last few weeks, they’ve grown to a length all around the crown of my head in such a way that I have instant volume with absolutely zero effort on part. It’s like I’ve been back combing like billy-o with a lovely even lift all around. So now I have extra thickness in all the right places with no work required from me. This is just perfect because it’s the exact amount of work I like to put into my hair.
Like I just stepped out of a salon. Score.
Please note, there is no scientific basis to my headline claim at all, at all. It is pure conjecture on my part. Awesome conjecture though.