Category Archives: Pregnancy

Post baby weight loss – sold a pup!

Ah pregnant with my first baby.  There I was glowing – shiny hair, great skin, the shape of regular me but with a lovely firm bump which I dressed in pretty bodycon fitted tops and dresses and skinny jeans. Delighted with myself so I was.

Before got pregnant I would have been a small size 12.  I’m a tall lass so I’d cut a slim figure in that size but I had to work at it.  Even though I ate rings around my pregnant self, I ate really healthily, conscious of my daily nutritional aims – 7 a day, heaps of calcium, plenty of iron.  My mind rarely turned to my post pregnancy body – sure why would it? – and when it did, it was with the comfort of two things: the naive and false belief that my body will just “bounce back” after my first because it’s the subsequent pregnancies that are harder (ha!); and I planned to breastfeed and breastfeeding mothers get their figures back super quick.

Sold. A. Pup.

In the early days of breastfeeding my son, along with a thirst like the Sahara, I had the appetite of a bear waking from a particularly cold long winter.  I couldn’t think sometimes I was so hungry.  Obviously the last thing on my mind at that stage was “getting my figure back”, I was only interested in keeping everyone alive!  But as the weeks turned to months, the hunger stayed.  I cut down on the ridiculous instant treats that had become a temporary staple in those initial days, like those M&S fruit trifle pots that my mother kept replenishing in our fridge, God bless her.  But I had a genuine physical need to eat more food.  Look, it had to be the breastfeeding, it couldn’t be anything else.  As I watched my fellow new mums shrink back into their own clothes, I started to feel, well a bit crap actually.  I was embarrassed by my clothes.  I felt I was too long in my maternity jeans.  I felt shabby in my tshirts and tops because everything felt flabby and loose.  I even missed my bump because it had been nice and firm compared to this pouch I felt left with.  The hardest day was when when I started a post natal Pilates class where a floor to ceiling mirror confirmed to me that the old tracky bottoms and tshirt I’d thrown on were only accentuating a body that I didn’t recognise and didn’t want.  I felt cheated.  Obviously, the miracle of breastfeeding induced weight loss was not to be for me.

Another factor that added to the crap feeling was something I’m a bit embarrassed to admit to.  As a self-confident,  card carrying feminist I’ve never been strongly influenced by the media frenzy over celebrities, fashion obsession, the body beautiful etc.  Even as a devoted reader of Sugar magazine as a little teen, I was more interested in picking up bright multicoloured nail varnish and the newest tshirt from cutting edge fashion house Miss Selfridge than aspiring be like the skinny, teeny models on the pages.  Now I am quite partial to the odd bit of celeb gossip and the flick of a fashion magazine but only as a distraction, although E! News did feature quite heavily on my television rotation when I was glued to the couch feeding the baby.  But I was tired and vulnerable and Victoria Beckham had a baby the same week as me and she was just everywhere.  I have to admit, Victoria Beckham made me feel like a failure.  It’s ridiculous!  I knew she had a make up artist, a hairdresser, a wardrobe of beautiful haute couture clothes, a chef, a personal trainer and I’m hoping a drawer full of high end shapewear.  But for the first time in my life I felt like a newspaper headline, in fact, exactly like this one.  It wasn’t nice.

I wanted to feel good about myself again.  I couldn’t cut down on my food intake because I did genuinely need it.  I upped by Pilates attendance to twice a week and I started walking the baby through his afternoon nap most days.  Things started to tighten up and the weight began to come off.  In fairness, I had a good motivation: I have one work wardrobe that I can’t afford to replace anytime soon so I’m getting into those clothes or I’m going to work naked.  I still have a bit of a winter coat that I’m aiming to lose but I’ll get there.  I just never thought it would be this hard.

A lot of midwifery is about loosening the butt!

So says Ina May!  Butt loosening, smiling to take away the pain, acting like a mammal and lots of poo were just some of the topics covered by Ina May today at the homebirth conference.

She was A-MAZ-ING.  A frighteningly intelligent, entertaining and sometimes smutty(!) woman, Ina May spoke so eloquently and with such understated passion and humour, you could just listen to her tell stories until the cows come home.  Not only did she give two keynote addresses, she also sat in the audience and took notes of the homebirth discussions going on, chiming in with her own well informed opinion on the current state of maternity services in Ireland.  It was great.  There were a few things I took away from her speeches:

  • She talked about how important it is to have the lower part of your body relaxed when you’re in labour.  As mentioned earlier, you need to loosen that butt!  (Obviously you can tell I really enjoyed this one)  Leaning on a staff, holding onto a rope from the ceiling or banisters, hanging off your partner’s shoulders and blowing through your lips like a horse – all good, go for it.
  • Labour doesn’t hurt when you smile!  This is because of all those lovely endorphins running through your body – yay!  Making a labouring mum laugh is very effective in relaxing and dilating her cervix.  Stressing her out does the opposite.
  • The forceps rate at her midwifery centre, The Farm, is less than 1%.  Why?  Because the midwives are nice.  No stress, keeping the mama calm, giving her loads of encouragement.  Not shouting, cajoling, bullying, rushing, upsetting.
  • Dads can never tell a labouring mum too often how beautiful she is and how lucky he is she is having his baby.  She never gets bored with that.  Makes sense to me!

She also spoke about how we have to fight for our right to choose homebirth.  Although the conference was such a life affirming, celebration of positive birthing in Ireland, in some ways I felt it ended on a sad note.  In the afternoon, we were treated to the knowledge and experience of six women working in some aspect of maternity care in Ireland.  Overriding the discussion was an air of despondency as one panellist spoke of her fear of homebirth programmes in the hospitals being cancelled in coming years due to budgetary reasons, another questioned if we had really come any further along in maternal rights in the last 30 years and independent midwives talked about how their hands were being tied by new legislation and a restrictive memorandum of understanding with the national health provider, the HSE.  It felt like after many battles, there was a hint that Irish women might be losing the war.

Personally I can’t understand how we find ourselves in this situation.  Basically a woman’s choice of how she births her baby is dictated by administrative and financial issues rather than a human right to choose how your child arrives in the world.  How outrageous is that?  Why does maternity care have to be “managed” anyway?  Pregnant women aren’t sick.  Surely they just need to be facilitated in getting their baby safely into the world?

Listen, I don’t believe homebirth is for everyone, just as consultant-led care isn’t for everyone but really it comes down to having the choice to giving birth in the way that makes the mama most comfortable.  Comforted by the idea of seeing the same consultant for every appointment, having them deliver your baby and enjoying your private room?  Go for it.  Like the idea of labouring at home, popping in to deliver your baby and availing of three nights on the ward with the associated midwifery support?  Happy days.  Can only imagine labouring in your own home, wandering room to room and then delivering your baby on your bathroom floor?  The choice should be yours.  I’m not interested in convincing people to have their baby the way I had mine.  I’d just love if every woman could choose to have the same sense of peace, comfort and then the subsequent euphoria that should come with having a baby.  Wouldn’t that be deadly?

Very well done to the HBA committee who did a sterling job organising the conference.  I have much respect for people who walk the walk and get up of their asses to make that difference.  These women do.

Ina May’s in town – woop woop!

Ina May Gaskin is probably the most famous midwife in the world – who knew there were celebrity midwives? – and she’s in Dublin tomorrow for the Home Birth Association‘s 30th anniversary conference. Hurray! Her book Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth was the main reason that I decided to have a homebirth half way through my pregnancy. Sure she makes it sound easy!

If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. In fact, it’s a must read as far as I’m concerned if you’re thinking about having a natural birth. Yes it has a whole bunch of black and white birth photos from the 70s that sent my husband running for the hills, but it also has the most beautiful and diverse birth stories in it with exceptional advice on how to have a natural birth and prepare yourself for the best outcomes possible.

My favourite birth story was the two-parter told by a husband and wife, both OBGYNs, who spoke of how they had to overcome their experience with medicalised births to achieve the successful natural homebirth they wanted. It’s such an empowering, positive book. It would fill any mum-to-be with confidence. It also made me think I would want to walk for miles in the woods when I went into labour. In reality, no chance! But that’s a story for another day…

It should be a great conference. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What am I letting myself in for?


mindthebaby Mind The Baby Blog Copyright All Rights ReservedHi there blog readers!

I’ve been thinking and talking, and talking and thinking, about writing a blog since I got pregnant in 2010.  I wanted to record my pregnancy and share the experience with anyone who might care but I chickened out time and again with myriad excuses not to.  Then my son was born and once the initial shell shock had subsided I thought I’d try again. This time I was thinking about sharing all the things they don’t tell you about when you’re pregnant and having a baby – both the good and the bad, and there are A LOT (more on this later) – but to be honest, I was too exhausted and genuinely didn’t have the time.  Now my son’s nearly a year and I think I’m finally getting the hang of it so I thought “let’s give this a lash”! Continue reading What am I letting myself in for?